When we are stuck in a state of indecision we can jump straight to thinking we are hopeless decision makers, but is that true?
Maybe we are simply stuck in a dilemma?
Maybe we have forgotten to give ourselves choices?
A dilemma presents two or more options at opposite ends of the scale, none of which seem great. If we had found an option in our situation that made sense we would simply say YES. The chicken or the egg is a classic example of a dilemma. Neither one can possibly be right. If the chicken came first, where did it come from? If the egg came first, who laid the egg?
The beauty lies in the third option, it is what we haven’t thought about.
What we haven’t considered
There is always another path when neither direction makes sense ~ Leina Broughton
Often when we are stuck trying to make a decision it is because we are in a dilemma, thinking we must decide based on two options - Yes or No. But what about not right now? What about all the avenues you haven’t considered yet.
There are always multiple solutions to any given problem, it is a matter of taking the time to explore all paths. Even if you end up going with one of your original options, allowing yourself the space to consider every possible option first, is freedom.
How to create choices
Choice is created by one thing - curiosity.
If you are standing at a crossroads and thinking neither option is right, get curious! Start asking the questions to expand your mind of what is possible.
- Are you clear on the situation?
- Is there a time restriction?
- Have you considered every possible option?
- Flip the design upside down
- Who could help you?
Let’s drill in to understand each aspect.
1. Are you clear on the situation?
In order to step into any point of decision making you need to be super clear on what is going on and where you are willing to compromise and where you are not. A dilemma becomes an assistant to the monkey mind, creating a looping pattern with no end in sight.
If ever you find yourself looping. STOP. Get clear.
- What is the situation?
- Who does it affect?
- What is your ideal outcome?
2. Is there a time restriction?
In order to make a decision you need to know what time frame you are looking at. Often there is a deadline that means our decision may be forced. But what if we lifted the restriction. What if we said not right now? What if we gave ourselves the grace of time, knowing that every opportunity is never a one off thing. What if we choose to live with an abundant mindset? If it is meant to be, the time will come again.
The key aspect with the question of time is;
What are you prepared to trade?
If you are having to trade too much to make a decision, it often becomes a compromise. All of a sudden you are embracing one decision and creating a new issue. Let’s make our decisions count!
3. Have you considered every option?
Time to get out pen to paper and start writing down every single option. Even the ridiculous and unimaginable options. By allowing our minds to imagine without borders it can spark more ideas.
For example; if you are deciding between two jobs and winning the lottery would mean you don’t have to work at all, does that mean you don’t really want either job?
Get curious, keep digging.
4. Flip the design upside down
When I first started designing garments, my desire and push to get my creations perfect first up held me in a creative block. There was a rigidity to how I would imagine and design, it was forced.
Until, I was told about flipping the design upside down, literally.
The idea is that you take a sketch and flip the picture upside down and see what new design you have created. Perhaps instead of a fitted bodice with a draped skirt, the skirt becomes fitted and the top is draped. Perhaps the colours are inverted. Perhaps it sparks your mind in a new direction.
Try this method with your dilemma. Flip it.
Perhaps instead of looking left or right you look up and down.
This creative method is training your mind and your imagination.
5. Who could help you?
Decisions don’t have to be done in silo and nor do they need to be done purely with your partner. Open up your phone and take a look through your contacts.
Who else has been on this path?
How did they handle the situation? Do you know? Can you ask?
You’re not alone, even when you think you are, you’re not. If you can’t find someone on your phone who could help you with additional insights, google it. I guarantee you will be able to find someone who has been through a similar challenge.
Remember, this research component is not intended to give you the answer, it’s expanding your perception of what is possible, your ability to find new options.
If you are facing a fork in the road with only two visible options, get digging!! Once you start giving yourself the gift of choice, you become the designer, you become the leader.
- Write down at least 10 possible options for what is next
- Start reducing the list until you have three wonderful options.
- You may even decide to do all three.
This is your adventure, you get to choose.
This blog has been created and designed to inspire you to Become the Creative Director of your life.
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Forever learning, forever evolving,